I can't help but feel like I've made a huge mistake.
I tell myself that it's for the best. That ending it now is better than waiting until we've gotten even more attached and then have to separate.
But I can't help but feel like I've made a huge mistake.
We both knew that it had to happen at some point. I, more than likely, won't be here more than a year. You have 2 more years of university.
Yet I still can't help but feel like I've made a huge mistake.
I never planned on being in a relationship so soon, I wanted to just date around and meet a lot of people and not let myself be beholden to anything or anyone.
And yet I still feel...
like I've let...
you down...
let you go...
let you cry over me, when I'm not really worth the tears, my dear. Each drop is a stab in the heart that we've been sharing. You're far too young and far too beautiful to let me have affected you so. You let me in, you let me stay, I let you down.
The last thing I ever wanted was to see you cry. I never meant to hurt you; I only did this to prevent the hurt from being worse.
I can't help but feel like I've made a huge mistake.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Coming to grips with the realization that you’re a loser
(or at least not as successful as you’d thought you’d be)
If you’re like me, and statistically speaking you probably
are, you’re not quite living life the way your 5 year old self had imagined. I
don’t just mean that in that you’re not an astronaut, or a cowboy, or a
professional wrestler, but that you’re maybe starting to realize just how many “you”s
there are. For the early part of your life, the most important thing you’ve
ever heard about was you. The vast majority of young children don’t think about
the “big picture”.
Interestingly, a parallel is seen
with early humanity. From the dawn of consciousness to roughly the 16th
century when Copernicus revealed his famous heliocentric theory, it was thought
that the Earth was the center of the universe, similar to how young you thought
you were the center of the world. As you grow your perception changes, and you
realize that there are a LOT of people in the world, all of whom also assumedly
think that their experience is of primary concern for the world. Likewise, as
humanity grew and learned more about the world, people realized that despite
this 3rd rock from the sun being the only known habitat of life in
the universe, we were far from the center of it.
So, here you are, thinking about
your life and how it measures up to what you thought it might have been. And
you’re probably a little unimpressed! Studies have shown that the average
person considers themselves to be of above average intelligence, which of
course statistics tells us cannot be true. It would be fair to assume that the
average person also thinks that their lot in life isn’t quite measuring up to
what they “deserve”, but of course that can’t be true either.
If you’re neither very poor or very
rich, very stupid or very intelligent, very ugly or very attractive, odds are
you’re just like me (relatively speaking). Humanity can be represented by a
bell curve; there are far more “average” people than ones at the extremes of
the spectrum. So what do we do now?
Let’s assume for a moment that
there is no afterlife. No heaven or hell, just eternal nothingness once your
brain has turned off for good. That leaves you with a very short amount of time
on Earth in which to accomplish your goals. Does it matter? Should you chase
goals? If it’s all going to disappear in an instant someday, what’s the
incentive to work hard while you’re alive? Some people think that a lack of
belief in an afterlife is counter-productive, that if people don’t have a goal
(reach heaven) that they’ll not have any motivation to “do well”.
I couldn’t disagree more. Assuming
that I have a finite amount of time left on Earth to grow, learn, discover,
love, teach, feel, travel, and share; I feel an immense urge to go and DO IT.
If you have a deadline at work do you scrap the project or do you hustle twice
as hard to ensure that you finish on time? If your boss says, “Get it done
whenever”, will you really have a fire lit under you? I am very motivated by
the concept of my own mortality, and I think that subconsciously every other
human does as well. This is what separates us from the rest of the beasts of
the Earth, we alone have the curse of realizing that we will die someday, and
that knowledge has spurred us to become to top species on the planet.
Why do we follow celebrity culture?
Why do we idolize the movie stars, musicians, the financiers? Because we see
that they are fully realizing the life that we always thought we deserved. When
you see a picture of George Clooney at a party, some part of you recognizes
that the difference between him and you is so minute that had a few minor occurrences
in the past gone differently, that could be you rubbing elbows with “the elite”.
They are really no different than you or I, they are subject to the same
insecurities, the same doubts, the same physical and mental problems.
So maybe you can’t act like George
Clooney, or sing like Adele, or predict the stock market like Warren Buffet.
You can still enjoy life just as passionately as they can, and the key to that
enjoyment is understanding that the meaning of life is not acquiring wealth and
status, it is to feel strong emotions and maintain bonds with other people. If
you make your goal to get rich or to get a ton of Instagram followers, the odds
are you’re going to be disappointed (you’re just average, remember?). However,
if you set the goal of finding beauty and meaning in the everyday occurrences
of life, you will NEVER miss your goal.
I think I’m rambling a bit here, so
I’ll try to summarize this as best I can. We’re all more or less the same, and
we’re all going to die someday. Don’t compare yourself to others, because this
can only breed negative feelings like jealousy, regret, or bitterness. Instead
look at your life and marvel at the beautiful intricacy of it all. The fact
that life flourished on this planet at all, despite the harsh conditions
throughout much of Earth’s history is amazing. That your consciousness was able
to come into being in a body is truly lucky. That you’re able to read this on a
computer, probably from a great distance away, would blow the minds of anyone
that died before 1950 or so.
Like Louis CK said, “Everything is
amazing and no one is happy.” Why is that? We are living at the most privileged
point in human history, we are statistically safer, healthier, and better
educated than people were at any other point in human history, yet most of us
aren’t happy. Instead of worrying about what you don’t have, be grateful for
what you do have, because otherwise you’ll never measure up.
Thursday, September 3, 2015
On the nature of existence
What cruel japes the gods do play, on mortal men doomed to die.
How unfair it seems, that we alone (that we know of) in the universe possess a fully realized consciousness. We are the stewards of our planet not only because we are the most highly evolved life form, but also because we alone are cognizant of the dangers it faces, albeit through our own actions. All other life forms on our globe are base creatures, concerned only with their immediate survival. None but us concern themselves with our physical appearance, the opinions of people we will never meet, or the true nature of existence.
And by this I mean we are cursed. Would that we could forget that which separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Would that we could resign from our position on the intellectual throne, for the burden of the crown can weigh heavy on our heads. How nice it must be to wake up each day unencumbered by the events of the previous or the impending problems of the next.
There must be a reason why we are the species to which this responsibility has been given. We have already hurdled at least one gigantic mental roadblock in that we understand the idea of mortality, what is the next obstacle that will block our path? Time is the 4th dimension, at some point in human history we recognized the concept of time and used it to organize our existence and that of everything around us. Will we at some point discover the 5th, and from that point make a further leap in human development?
Will future persons of our species (or more highly evolved creatures than our current Homo Sapiens) look back at our struggles in the 21st century and laugh? How simple we must seem to them, to be confined to 3 dimensional space, aware of the 4th but unable to manipulate it. Or will our increasing technological ability destroy our advancements before we are able to reach that point? There are theories, and not unreasonable ones, that suggest that once we reach the singularity, where technology is capable of increasing its own intelligence, humanity will be unnecessary.
Of course, this is a cold thought. This is the result of pure logic without accounting for emotion. If we’re to believe that there is more to the universe than meets the eye, it seems that humanity will always have a place in the universe. For as smart as an AI robot may be, could it ever experience the bliss of young love? Feel the awe of a gorgeous sunrise?
The human eye can only see a portion of the color spectrum. The ear can only hear a small range of the possible frequencies. There is an entire world underneath our feet, above our heads, and even inside of us that we will never be able to detect. We still don’t really know what dark energy or dark matter are. It’s possible that we are in but one universe among many multiverses. It’s possible that there are beings that operate in higher dimensions than us, which we will never recognize because of our human limitations. And it seems cruel to me that we have the power to imagine these things, to tease ourselves with the possibilities, knowing full well that we will never get to understand or experience them.
How unfair it seems, that we alone (that we know of) in the universe possess a fully realized consciousness. We are the stewards of our planet not only because we are the most highly evolved life form, but also because we alone are cognizant of the dangers it faces, albeit through our own actions. All other life forms on our globe are base creatures, concerned only with their immediate survival. None but us concern themselves with our physical appearance, the opinions of people we will never meet, or the true nature of existence.
And by this I mean we are cursed. Would that we could forget that which separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Would that we could resign from our position on the intellectual throne, for the burden of the crown can weigh heavy on our heads. How nice it must be to wake up each day unencumbered by the events of the previous or the impending problems of the next.
There must be a reason why we are the species to which this responsibility has been given. We have already hurdled at least one gigantic mental roadblock in that we understand the idea of mortality, what is the next obstacle that will block our path? Time is the 4th dimension, at some point in human history we recognized the concept of time and used it to organize our existence and that of everything around us. Will we at some point discover the 5th, and from that point make a further leap in human development?
Will future persons of our species (or more highly evolved creatures than our current Homo Sapiens) look back at our struggles in the 21st century and laugh? How simple we must seem to them, to be confined to 3 dimensional space, aware of the 4th but unable to manipulate it. Or will our increasing technological ability destroy our advancements before we are able to reach that point? There are theories, and not unreasonable ones, that suggest that once we reach the singularity, where technology is capable of increasing its own intelligence, humanity will be unnecessary.
Of course, this is a cold thought. This is the result of pure logic without accounting for emotion. If we’re to believe that there is more to the universe than meets the eye, it seems that humanity will always have a place in the universe. For as smart as an AI robot may be, could it ever experience the bliss of young love? Feel the awe of a gorgeous sunrise?
The human eye can only see a portion of the color spectrum. The ear can only hear a small range of the possible frequencies. There is an entire world underneath our feet, above our heads, and even inside of us that we will never be able to detect. We still don’t really know what dark energy or dark matter are. It’s possible that we are in but one universe among many multiverses. It’s possible that there are beings that operate in higher dimensions than us, which we will never recognize because of our human limitations. And it seems cruel to me that we have the power to imagine these things, to tease ourselves with the possibilities, knowing full well that we will never get to understand or experience them.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Donald Trump, modern day Narcissus, exemplifies the problems with America's political system
If you take Donald Trump seriously, I'm not sure I can take you seriously. He's a clown. A trust-fund baby, born with a silver spoon in his mouth, who masquerades as a self-made businessman. A draft dodger who has the gall to insult John McCain (whose politics I disagree with but who I respect for what he went through in service of our nation) when he can't even age gracefully (we all know that's a toupee). Though he didn't want to serve his nation when called to, he now wants to take a moral high ground and attack an actual veteran on the subject of veteran's benefits because it's politically expedient.
But besides all these things he actually has some downsides. He's a modern-day Narcissus, so in love with himself and his delusion of self-importance that he names great buildings after himself and spends much of his speeches bragging about large business deals he's done. Instead of explaining his positions or suggesting solutions to problems he loves to blame on other people, we get to hear tales of him selling apartments to "Chine-ah".
Does anyone really believe that a President Trump would act in the best interests of the American people, of the common man? Or would he act in the best interests of the Trump brand, his legacy, and his bank accounts?
But besides all these things he actually has some downsides. He's a modern-day Narcissus, so in love with himself and his delusion of self-importance that he names great buildings after himself and spends much of his speeches bragging about large business deals he's done. Instead of explaining his positions or suggesting solutions to problems he loves to blame on other people, we get to hear tales of him selling apartments to "Chine-ah".
Does anyone really believe that a President Trump would act in the best interests of the American people, of the common man? Or would he act in the best interests of the Trump brand, his legacy, and his bank accounts?
Saturday, March 7, 2015
I was the fire that burned under your skin,
the ache that never subsided.
I was the feeling that you wont feel again,
from the heart where you never resided.
I was the day where you'd dawdle and play,
and the night where you'd look for a friend.
I was the fall, melancholy and cool,
and the summer which drew to an end.
the ache that never subsided.
I was the feeling that you wont feel again,
from the heart where you never resided.
I was the day where you'd dawdle and play,
and the night where you'd look for a friend.
I was the fall, melancholy and cool,
and the summer which drew to an end.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
An epiphany
I had a realization tonight. About 3 minutes ago in fact. It came to me while I was watching this video.
Some people have a tendency to assume that people in general are all the same. That we have the same fears, ambitions, insecurities, etc. While watching this awesome video about the people, culture, landscape, and history of Guatemala it struck me how they were so in the moment and grounded. There wasn't an air of materialism or greediness about them.
I haven't done much international traveling but from what I've learned through others, people in different cultures don't have the same mental hangups we do. Sure, we've got a higher standard of living (based on a standard we created for our status quo) but in happiness indexes the US and other first world countries are a ways down the list. Is there a real negative correlation between wealth and happiness? Is it the fact that we're so comfortable that causes us to worry more? The logical thing to assume would be that as your quality of life increased, your worries lessened. You've got more money, more possessions, you don't have to worry about your next meal or if you'll be robbed. So why do you instead worry about what others think of you? Is it part of the human condition that we will always create problems for ourselves if we have outsmarted nature?
How awesome it would be if we could have a philosophical awakening in this culture and shed ourselves of our materialism, of our greed, and our vanity. Truly be ourselves, all of us, all of the time. No falseness, no lying, no scheming, no betrayal. We should realize that we've created technology that enables us to live incredibly comfortable lives, all of us! Our greed causes some to miss out on the life that we all have a chance at. If we shun greed and accept a slice proportionate to what the community can handle then everyone can join in enjoying the comfortable life.
But we have a short time with which to appreciate the world and how we've adapted it. The Earth is already above what is considered by many to be it's carrying capacity. And every second of every minute of every day children are being born. Some are exiting the other side of the tunnel at the same time, but not at the same rate. The crowd density inside the tunnel is increasing, causing conflict and aggression. And I'm not sure that there's anything that can be done about it.
Friday, August 8, 2014
Alone together
We were alone together
Two survivors stranded on an isolated isle deep within the ocean of humanity
Neither of us ready to admit that we needed each other
Tried so hard to pretend the other didn't exist
Until it became painfully clear
We were alone together.
Two survivors stranded on an isolated isle deep within the ocean of humanity
Neither of us ready to admit that we needed each other
Tried so hard to pretend the other didn't exist
Until it became painfully clear
We were alone together.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
We are the 99%
(written during the Occupy protests, originally supposed to be a hip hop verse)
We are the 99%.
And the people that make the cents,
can't afford to pay their rent.
Now try to make sense of why they're bleeding us dry,
the minimum wage stays the same but inflation's sky high.
Sometimes it seems I'm barely eeking it by,
just a nine to five guy seeking a slice of the pie.
It's not the 1800s, now none of us are free,
thanks to Condi, Mitt Romney, George Dubya B.
The Patriot Act stole our civil liberties,
pulled the rug from under our feet and dropped us to our knees.
And the Federal Reserve is as Federal as FedEx,
and I'm fed up with their corporate greed and excess,
we expect less of a return on our investments,
when their recklessness is the reason we're in this mess.
The President's promises of providence promote opulence
provided proper pennance is paid to placate the populace.
The problem is, prospects dont seem prosperous,
politicians pilfer our paper to pad their pocketbooks.
The pompous pricks appear to protect public property,
while privately pushing to proliferate public poverty.
Probably a ploy to make people practically panic,
now the proletariat passes on the power, just how they planned it.
We are the 99%.
And the people that make the cents,
can't afford to pay their rent.
Now try to make sense of why they're bleeding us dry,
the minimum wage stays the same but inflation's sky high.
Sometimes it seems I'm barely eeking it by,
just a nine to five guy seeking a slice of the pie.
It's not the 1800s, now none of us are free,
thanks to Condi, Mitt Romney, George Dubya B.
The Patriot Act stole our civil liberties,
pulled the rug from under our feet and dropped us to our knees.
And the Federal Reserve is as Federal as FedEx,
and I'm fed up with their corporate greed and excess,
we expect less of a return on our investments,
when their recklessness is the reason we're in this mess.
The President's promises of providence promote opulence
provided proper pennance is paid to placate the populace.
The problem is, prospects dont seem prosperous,
politicians pilfer our paper to pad their pocketbooks.
The pompous pricks appear to protect public property,
while privately pushing to proliferate public poverty.
Probably a ploy to make people practically panic,
now the proletariat passes on the power, just how they planned it.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Skye
We slept, supine, beneath star-speckled skies,
her hand in mine, fingers intertwined.
As fingers dance across my palm,
she hums the tune, I sing along.
With our bed of earth and our blanket of stars,
no lights from cities, no noises of cars.
A gentle caress from the warm summer breeze,
while grass roots grow grass roads, next to skyscraper trees.
Falling in love under a full moon on a fall night,
it's orbital glow bathing us both in pale light.
As we inch closer I can feel her heart beating faster
but mine is as well, so what does it matter?
As we gazed upward, through time and space,
I recall the wonder of her face.
Her childish grin, her sparkling eyes,
looked to belong to our star-speckled skies.
her hand in mine, fingers intertwined.
As fingers dance across my palm,
she hums the tune, I sing along.
With our bed of earth and our blanket of stars,
no lights from cities, no noises of cars.
A gentle caress from the warm summer breeze,
while grass roots grow grass roads, next to skyscraper trees.
Falling in love under a full moon on a fall night,
it's orbital glow bathing us both in pale light.
As we inch closer I can feel her heart beating faster
but mine is as well, so what does it matter?
As we gazed upward, through time and space,
I recall the wonder of her face.
Her childish grin, her sparkling eyes,
looked to belong to our star-speckled skies.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
The Woods
I miss my childhood.
Fond memories of walking in the woods on crisp winter days, the only sound the crack of twigs snapping underneath my feet.
A deep breath... the smells of cedar, birch, and cool country air comfort and surround me like a blanket.
There was work to do, there always was. Raking leaves, picking up sticks.
Between trips I'd wander off to explore a spot I'd been to dozens of times yet somehow always felt new and exciting.
I miss my childhood.
Awkward first day of school photos with too-new clothes seemingly tailored for someone else, that I hadn't chose.
Who was I trying to impress? Besides everyone, of course. Trying too hard to fit in, like a square peg wanting to fit into that circle slot.
Learning the social structure in short fashion. Being unfashionable = Crawl space of the cool kid clubhouse.
Still...
I miss my childhood.
I wish I was as excited about anything as most kids are about everything. Sticks were swords, couch cushions created castles, and grass stains were a daily occurrence, because...
Outside was beautiful. Outside was clean. Outside was opportunity, potential, and unfulfilled dreams.
I grew up outside of the city, and I'm so grateful that I did; because I experienced the beauty of nature as a kid.
What is it that erodes that lust for learning? The burning questions I'd ask my parents, like, "How fast is the Earth turning?" I wish I could recapture that hunger, that yearning...
I miss my childhood.
Fond memories of walking in the woods on crisp winter days, the only sound the crack of twigs snapping underneath my feet.
A deep breath... the smells of cedar, birch, and cool country air comfort and surround me like a blanket.
There was work to do, there always was. Raking leaves, picking up sticks.
Between trips I'd wander off to explore a spot I'd been to dozens of times yet somehow always felt new and exciting.
I miss my childhood.
Awkward first day of school photos with too-new clothes seemingly tailored for someone else, that I hadn't chose.
Who was I trying to impress? Besides everyone, of course. Trying too hard to fit in, like a square peg wanting to fit into that circle slot.
Learning the social structure in short fashion. Being unfashionable = Crawl space of the cool kid clubhouse.
Still...
I miss my childhood.
I wish I was as excited about anything as most kids are about everything. Sticks were swords, couch cushions created castles, and grass stains were a daily occurrence, because...
Outside was beautiful. Outside was clean. Outside was opportunity, potential, and unfulfilled dreams.
I grew up outside of the city, and I'm so grateful that I did; because I experienced the beauty of nature as a kid.
What is it that erodes that lust for learning? The burning questions I'd ask my parents, like, "How fast is the Earth turning?" I wish I could recapture that hunger, that yearning...
I miss my childhood.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Casino
If it wasn't for all the sound, it would be deafeningly quiet in here. The beeps of slot machines, oldies music, idle chatter; all white noise, a veil over the air of desperation that lingers throughout. In this place time does not exist but as a memory from Before. You'll find more illusions than a magic show and more crushed hope than a high school kid denied a date by the girl of his dreams.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
The Clock
Floating in, and out of, consciousness.
Listening to the tick tock, tick tock of the clock.
The soft pitter patter of rain on the ground like babies feet.
Breathe deep. Breathe deep.
There is something missing, a great something.
No cars, no voices, no television or radio.
Brought back to a time before these things,
when there was only time. A clock.
A single monotonous voice ringing out in the night,
as if to say, "You've got all the time in the world
to lay in bed and listen to my tick tock, tick tock.
And the soft pitter patter of rain drops on the cement
like so many little babies feet."
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Sleepless Nights Creating Monsters
Here it is, 4:50 and I am typing on my computer. I woke up about 4:15 from a nightmare, in the dream I was trapped underneath a slew of restaurant tables, crawling around on the floor trying to find an opening. When I woke I was reach around the bars above my head, underneath the bunk above me. I feel sorry for Belinda. While getting my bearings I noticed a few things: my laptop was still next to me, though unresponsive, I had a headache from the booze from last night, and it was very, very dark.
I stayed there for a while, trying to get to sleep. That didn't work, so I came upstairs to get water and try to sleep on the couch. Turns out someone is up here, darn. To be continued...
I stayed there for a while, trying to get to sleep. That didn't work, so I came upstairs to get water and try to sleep on the couch. Turns out someone is up here, darn. To be continued...
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Inception
I will try to summarize the movie "Inception" in one sentence; the best movie I have seen all year.
Possibly one of the 3 best movies I have EVER seen, which is considerable. The cinematography, acting, editing, sound, plot, everything was spot on; there was not a weak spot to be found. Leo gives his best performance since the Departed, Ellen Page is surprisingly good, and the rest of the cast does an admirable job of not being completely overshadowed by the two main characters. Christopher Nolan seems to be on a hot streak; "The Prestige", "The Dark Knight", and now "Inception". In just his 9th role as a director, Nolan shows us why he is a genius writer, producer, and of course director.
**** Spoilers! ****
Now for the nitty gritty. The whole movie plays with our perception of reality and whether or not we are in a dream state. Similar in some ways to the Matrix trilogy, yet infinitely more understandable, Inception is the definition of a "mind fuck". Dom (DiCaprio) Cobb is a master of Extraction, going into a subjects brain, inducing a dream, filling the dream with the subconscious information that he needs, then stealing it and giving the information to whoever is employing him at the time. Page is a young architect that is hired on to his team for his final job, to plant an idea into the head of the heir of a giant energy corporation.
After discussing whether or not it is possible to plant an idea or not, and explaining the process, a full team is assembled and they begin their mission of infiltrating Robert Fischer Jr's mind (Cillian Murphy, who played Dr. Crane in The Dark Knight) and planting the idea of disassembling his fathers corporation. The team traverses through 3 or 4 different dreams within dreams within dreams within dreams, and at the moment I am still up in the air as to whether or not I believe Dom and Ariadne (Page) were in Limbo during the last scene with Mal. Also up for debate is whether or not Dom is in reality or a dream state during the final scene, where we see the top spin seemingly forever on the table as Dom is reunited with his children.
Personally I believe that the top was slowing down and beginning to wobble, which is Nolan's way of telling us that Dom was in the real world. Also, whenever Dom was in a dream he would never look at the children's faces; but in the final scene they turn and expose themselves to the audience (not in that way, sicko!). However, it still bugs me that in that scene, the children are wearing the same clothes that they wear in all of Dom's memories, and that they are still digging in the ground for the worm.
Another interesting twist that I had not thought of, until I saw it posted online, was that Michael Caine (Miles, Dom's father) hired Ariadne to infiltrate Dom's mind and use inception on him, to get him to come to the realization that Mal is long gone, and that he needs to realize it and get past it. A few indicators that this might be the case are that when Miles picks Dom up from the airport, he apparently says, "Welcome" to his son. However, some viewers reported that they distinctly heard him whisper, "You're" before saying welcome. Also, as Cobb walks by the rest of the team in the airport, they all give him the same grin, that "We know something you don't know" grin. Which could possibly mean that they all knew about it, and were glad that both of the inceptions that were planted had worked.
With Nolan, it seems plausible that this could be the case, though just as with the Prestige, he leaves much up to the imagination. There are many different scenarios that could be possible, and all of them fit in with at least most of the facts. That is the beauty of "Inception", that regardless of what you think actually happened, you're right. Because there is no one correct answer, we all make up our own answer to fit the facts as we see them, and that's brilliant movie-making.
If you have any opinions one way or another on the topic, leave a comment on this post and share your view.
Possibly one of the 3 best movies I have EVER seen, which is considerable. The cinematography, acting, editing, sound, plot, everything was spot on; there was not a weak spot to be found. Leo gives his best performance since the Departed, Ellen Page is surprisingly good, and the rest of the cast does an admirable job of not being completely overshadowed by the two main characters. Christopher Nolan seems to be on a hot streak; "The Prestige", "The Dark Knight", and now "Inception". In just his 9th role as a director, Nolan shows us why he is a genius writer, producer, and of course director.
**** Spoilers! ****
Now for the nitty gritty. The whole movie plays with our perception of reality and whether or not we are in a dream state. Similar in some ways to the Matrix trilogy, yet infinitely more understandable, Inception is the definition of a "mind fuck". Dom (DiCaprio) Cobb is a master of Extraction, going into a subjects brain, inducing a dream, filling the dream with the subconscious information that he needs, then stealing it and giving the information to whoever is employing him at the time. Page is a young architect that is hired on to his team for his final job, to plant an idea into the head of the heir of a giant energy corporation.
After discussing whether or not it is possible to plant an idea or not, and explaining the process, a full team is assembled and they begin their mission of infiltrating Robert Fischer Jr's mind (Cillian Murphy, who played Dr. Crane in The Dark Knight) and planting the idea of disassembling his fathers corporation. The team traverses through 3 or 4 different dreams within dreams within dreams within dreams, and at the moment I am still up in the air as to whether or not I believe Dom and Ariadne (Page) were in Limbo during the last scene with Mal. Also up for debate is whether or not Dom is in reality or a dream state during the final scene, where we see the top spin seemingly forever on the table as Dom is reunited with his children.
Personally I believe that the top was slowing down and beginning to wobble, which is Nolan's way of telling us that Dom was in the real world. Also, whenever Dom was in a dream he would never look at the children's faces; but in the final scene they turn and expose themselves to the audience (not in that way, sicko!). However, it still bugs me that in that scene, the children are wearing the same clothes that they wear in all of Dom's memories, and that they are still digging in the ground for the worm.
Another interesting twist that I had not thought of, until I saw it posted online, was that Michael Caine (Miles, Dom's father) hired Ariadne to infiltrate Dom's mind and use inception on him, to get him to come to the realization that Mal is long gone, and that he needs to realize it and get past it. A few indicators that this might be the case are that when Miles picks Dom up from the airport, he apparently says, "Welcome" to his son. However, some viewers reported that they distinctly heard him whisper, "You're" before saying welcome. Also, as Cobb walks by the rest of the team in the airport, they all give him the same grin, that "We know something you don't know" grin. Which could possibly mean that they all knew about it, and were glad that both of the inceptions that were planted had worked.
With Nolan, it seems plausible that this could be the case, though just as with the Prestige, he leaves much up to the imagination. There are many different scenarios that could be possible, and all of them fit in with at least most of the facts. That is the beauty of "Inception", that regardless of what you think actually happened, you're right. Because there is no one correct answer, we all make up our own answer to fit the facts as we see them, and that's brilliant movie-making.
If you have any opinions one way or another on the topic, leave a comment on this post and share your view.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
LeBron
Let me start off by saying I am neither a Cleveland Cavaliers fan or a LeBron fan. I don't dislike LeBron, but I'm not going to buy his jersey anytime soon. That being said, I like him coming to Miami. Miami with DWade and a good supporting cast can win a championship, we know that already. Miami with DWade and CBosh can definitely win a championship.
Miami with DWade, CBosh, and LBJ is going to win several championships.
Many people have criticized LBJ for skipping town on the Cavs. But can you honestly say you wouldn't have done the same? In the worthless 7 years that he spent there, he almost won them a championship by himself. Every time they came close and failed, it was because he had no support. So win or lose, all the blame/praise was on LBJ. And since losing in the playoffs is what they liked to do, there was tremendous pressure on LBJ to try to carry a team, which no one, no not even Jordan, had to do. It is entirely on the front office of the Cavs for not providing LeBron the support to complete his mission.
So he went from a team where he was always struggling to pull a "middle of the road" team uphill with all of his teammates piled on to his back, to a team where he is not going to be the sole breadwinner. If/when the Heat go deep into the playoffs or win a ring, LBJ will not be the only player with a spotlight focused on them. He will also not be the only player to be lampooned on the morning edition of SportsCenter if they don't meet expectations.
There is something to be said for the fact that LBJ will have some tremendous help now. Jordan never had a DWade and a Bosh. He had Pippen and Rodman but thats apples to oranges if you ask me. Yes its true, when LBJ finally gets a ring it will be more plastic than gold, but the fact remains that had he stayed in Cleveland, who knows if Dan Gilberts ever would have given him the players he needed for a ring? Jordan stayed in Chicago, and was rewarded with Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman. Would the same have happened for LBJ? We'll never know.
But I sure can't blame him for switching out Ohio and cornfields for South Beach and beautiful women.
Miami with DWade, CBosh, and LBJ is going to win several championships.
Many people have criticized LBJ for skipping town on the Cavs. But can you honestly say you wouldn't have done the same? In the worthless 7 years that he spent there, he almost won them a championship by himself. Every time they came close and failed, it was because he had no support. So win or lose, all the blame/praise was on LBJ. And since losing in the playoffs is what they liked to do, there was tremendous pressure on LBJ to try to carry a team, which no one, no not even Jordan, had to do. It is entirely on the front office of the Cavs for not providing LeBron the support to complete his mission.
So he went from a team where he was always struggling to pull a "middle of the road" team uphill with all of his teammates piled on to his back, to a team where he is not going to be the sole breadwinner. If/when the Heat go deep into the playoffs or win a ring, LBJ will not be the only player with a spotlight focused on them. He will also not be the only player to be lampooned on the morning edition of SportsCenter if they don't meet expectations.
There is something to be said for the fact that LBJ will have some tremendous help now. Jordan never had a DWade and a Bosh. He had Pippen and Rodman but thats apples to oranges if you ask me. Yes its true, when LBJ finally gets a ring it will be more plastic than gold, but the fact remains that had he stayed in Cleveland, who knows if Dan Gilberts ever would have given him the players he needed for a ring? Jordan stayed in Chicago, and was rewarded with Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman. Would the same have happened for LBJ? We'll never know.
But I sure can't blame him for switching out Ohio and cornfields for South Beach and beautiful women.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Lost and Found
The title of this entry makes me think of a lot of stuff. Back when I was active in the church, we went to a youth group meeting in San Diego where a band called Lost & Found played, they are a Christian band that specializes in covers of others songs and making them into a religious song. They were a big part of me for a few years of my life.
It also reminds me of a puppy that we (Ashley, Mark, Zack, and I) recently found on the road, we only had her for a day but it reminded me of how sporadic and spontaneous life can be; that no matter how dull it may seem, ALL life, ALL human experience has some form of spontaneous combustion or spontaneous eruption, whichever term you prefer. It doesn't matter how mundane or ordinary your life is, at some point in all of our lives we are privileged enough to experience the randomness and beauty that is human existence. We all have a very specific purpose in life and it's the little things, like finding a lost dog in the middle of the night, that provides us the break from the norm and that reminds us that all is not lost; that no matter how simple and boring a life we may lead, we all can find excitement and electricity in everyday occurrences.
Now for some updates for whoever may be reading this somewhere in blog-land. I no longer do Jiu-Jitsu, though I want to once I move back to Bellingham. I am about to get my degree from CWU in Law & Justice, I still have a wonderful girlfriend whom I fear I sometimes under-appreciate, I have a terribly appreciative and loving family who love me despite whatever flaws I have, I have great friends that will stick with me though the thick and thin, I know what I want to do in my life and I am on the path to achieve that goal, and I manage to reign in all of that while still having time to enjoy being young and having the opportunity to experience what I want to experience.
I have become more of a fan of red wine than I ever thought possible. Whereas 2 years ago I had a disdain for the aroma and taste of beer, I now rather like it, and in fact I consider myself somewhat of a beer aficionado. Though I am aware I have much to learn about the subject, I am considerably interested in the formation of beer and the distinct flavors and styles that are possible though differences in fermentation techniques.
Over my 2 years at Central, I have met some people that I never wish to contact again. However, I have also met some people who I would consider long-term friends. How lucky am I that I would find some random people through luck of the draw that I can find not only common ground with but have common interests and similar world views.
I initially titled my blog "Accidental Thoughts", but after thinking it through recently, I have come to the conclusion that nothing in life is accidental; that events in our lives happen because of decisions that we make, and that whatever happens because of our decisions, we must live with the consequences. It is all a pattern of sorts, and nothing is left to chance. Every decision, from the choice of whether to lift weights or not, to what classes we take, to where we go to dinner, will influence our lives negatively or positively, and we as adults need to take control of our lives and we need to take responsibility for our lives.
I want to say that I am where I am today because I got lucky. I was lucky enough to be born to a relatively stable family, I was lucky enough to be blessed with a brain that was capable of processing complex thought, and I was lucky enough to find good friends to enrich my life. Nothing about my life or my situation was accidental; I am simply lucky to have been born as what I am, and I am forever grateful for whatever cosmical force provided me with such resources.
In Peace,
Aaron Bean
It also reminds me of a puppy that we (Ashley, Mark, Zack, and I) recently found on the road, we only had her for a day but it reminded me of how sporadic and spontaneous life can be; that no matter how dull it may seem, ALL life, ALL human experience has some form of spontaneous combustion or spontaneous eruption, whichever term you prefer. It doesn't matter how mundane or ordinary your life is, at some point in all of our lives we are privileged enough to experience the randomness and beauty that is human existence. We all have a very specific purpose in life and it's the little things, like finding a lost dog in the middle of the night, that provides us the break from the norm and that reminds us that all is not lost; that no matter how simple and boring a life we may lead, we all can find excitement and electricity in everyday occurrences.
Now for some updates for whoever may be reading this somewhere in blog-land. I no longer do Jiu-Jitsu, though I want to once I move back to Bellingham. I am about to get my degree from CWU in Law & Justice, I still have a wonderful girlfriend whom I fear I sometimes under-appreciate, I have a terribly appreciative and loving family who love me despite whatever flaws I have, I have great friends that will stick with me though the thick and thin, I know what I want to do in my life and I am on the path to achieve that goal, and I manage to reign in all of that while still having time to enjoy being young and having the opportunity to experience what I want to experience.
I have become more of a fan of red wine than I ever thought possible. Whereas 2 years ago I had a disdain for the aroma and taste of beer, I now rather like it, and in fact I consider myself somewhat of a beer aficionado. Though I am aware I have much to learn about the subject, I am considerably interested in the formation of beer and the distinct flavors and styles that are possible though differences in fermentation techniques.
Over my 2 years at Central, I have met some people that I never wish to contact again. However, I have also met some people who I would consider long-term friends. How lucky am I that I would find some random people through luck of the draw that I can find not only common ground with but have common interests and similar world views.
I initially titled my blog "Accidental Thoughts", but after thinking it through recently, I have come to the conclusion that nothing in life is accidental; that events in our lives happen because of decisions that we make, and that whatever happens because of our decisions, we must live with the consequences. It is all a pattern of sorts, and nothing is left to chance. Every decision, from the choice of whether to lift weights or not, to what classes we take, to where we go to dinner, will influence our lives negatively or positively, and we as adults need to take control of our lives and we need to take responsibility for our lives.
I want to say that I am where I am today because I got lucky. I was lucky enough to be born to a relatively stable family, I was lucky enough to be blessed with a brain that was capable of processing complex thought, and I was lucky enough to find good friends to enrich my life. Nothing about my life or my situation was accidental; I am simply lucky to have been born as what I am, and I am forever grateful for whatever cosmical force provided me with such resources.
In Peace,
Aaron Bean
Monday, February 11, 2008
Jiu-Jitsu Class
So I just got back from jiu jitsu class. It is I think my 4th session. I really really am enjoying it, I think I wanna do it for a long time. I have not bought a gi yet but I will soon I think, probably when I have to get a membership.
I got another mat burn, one of my knee this time. Hurts pretty good, but the pain just reminds me to keep going and that eventually it will all be worth it when I am competing in tournaments and earning higher belts.
I got another mat burn, one of my knee this time. Hurts pretty good, but the pain just reminds me to keep going and that eventually it will all be worth it when I am competing in tournaments and earning higher belts.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Adios! Mexico
Well looks like the Mexico trip is not happening. I was planning on going to Mexico over spring break with Melody, John, Evan, Kendra, and Lexi, but turns out Kendra's credits are not going to transfer over to Eastern so she is just wasting time going to Western. So she is going to be moving over to Eastern next quarter, and she is moving during spring break. It's a bummer but it's mainly a bummer cause Kendra is a cool girl and we are all going to miss her, though I am sure we will all keep in touch somehow. Though it will be different going to the Cobra without her and all her wacky friends :P.
Oh well I wish her the best. And shit, she ain't gone yet, we can still party it up while she is here!
Oh well I wish her the best. And shit, she ain't gone yet, we can still party it up while she is here!
My Life
Here are all the important people in my life, in no particular order.
Family:
Carmen Bean (Mom)
Bill Bean (Dad)
Keena Bean (Sister/Friend)
Friends:
Ricky Noble
John Murphy
Tyler Roberts
Evan Needham
Tony Lieb
Bryant Michaelson
Nick Weidman
Brandon Frost
Kendra Russell
Leah Sauser
Lexi Williams
Katie Wasel
Taryn Cross
Emily Byrum
Sarah Hagen
Holly Battersby
Anna Fast
Becca York
Rachel Goodwin
Family:
Carmen Bean (Mom)
Bill Bean (Dad)
Keena Bean (Sister/Friend)
Friends:
Ricky Noble
John Murphy
Tyler Roberts
Evan Needham
Tony Lieb
Bryant Michaelson
Nick Weidman
Brandon Frost
Kendra Russell
Leah Sauser
Lexi Williams
Katie Wasel
Taryn Cross
Emily Byrum
Sarah Hagen
Holly Battersby
Anna Fast
Becca York
Rachel Goodwin
First
Welcome to Accidental Thoughts, where nothing seems certain but everything seems possible. Some basic information about myself:
5'8"
White
Blonde
Blue eyes
20
Taken
I created this blog on a whim, I was trying to be nonconformist by not creating a blog but I gave in and joined the masses in all of our "heart spilling on the floor" glory. I have no idea what I am looking to achieve, other than to maybe have a place where I can scribe my innermost and have my friends, relatives, peers, coworkers, and enemies read and comprehend what I am about. I have always loved writing and poetry, just not enough to get my lazy ass to actually do some. So there I am. Enjoy.
5'8"
White
Blonde
Blue eyes
20
Taken
I created this blog on a whim, I was trying to be nonconformist by not creating a blog but I gave in and joined the masses in all of our "heart spilling on the floor" glory. I have no idea what I am looking to achieve, other than to maybe have a place where I can scribe my innermost and have my friends, relatives, peers, coworkers, and enemies read and comprehend what I am about. I have always loved writing and poetry, just not enough to get my lazy ass to actually do some. So there I am. Enjoy.
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